Skip to main content

Spewing Some Shit via the Keyboard

That the biggest shoe can be destroyed by fire, the smallest cat can be exploded by air, the medium sized human has an average height. If you were to discuss the true motives of everything then nothing would happen without the reasoning of a rabbit tossing coins under the overpass into the railway tracks below. We have a wonderful system of try and get goosebumps attempting to try again while being pressurised in a cooking utensil from another country. I could continue with some more ramblings but I honestly think that everyone will just discount what I’ll say, or take it as fact without little care to actually read it. I would prefer the former. Everything here that has been said can be said again by adding six words into each paragraph and saying it again. The proprietary nature of Windows is exactly the best selling point that it has. People don’t expect to be able to have anything to do with the creation or understanding of a piece of software. Unfortunately the last two sentences made far too much sense and that is completely not on. My poorly constructed block of text is designed to destroy several of your thought gems that grow brighter when trying to understand something and then suddenly explode when you cannot fail to misunderstand something.

try { post.readLine();
} catch(BrainOverloadException e) { e.printStackTrace();
} finally {

Fortunately your gems will be glowing quite brightly and you may have lost a few of them. It is completely true that these brain gems exist and science has proven there existence. Brain gems are the thought energy power supply batteries coupled with the thought processors that run at similar rates to a zebra running into a rock. I hear a knock at the door, I get up to answer it, opening the door. A huge gush of wind travels through the door and I am arrested by the whirlwind. Carried off from my home by an invisible force that can only be described as a gust of air, I try to take note of the path that we follow. Fortunately I have my smart phone and I’m still able to use the GPS to track my location. I gift store girl told me that I was going to be given an unexpected present from a secret admirer. But it hasn’t happened yet, and she told me five years ago. I have never been so depressed. My life is not going as planned. First the gift store girl gets my hopes up of receiving a present from someone i don’t know. Then my cat transforms into a man in a suit and starts harassing me about the all the times I forgot to feed him. His appetite has changed dramatically over the months. No longer does he accept the cat food that he used to adore, he is now demanding steak, beer, sauerkraut, bratwurst, and mustard. His demands are eating into my bank balance. While he was a cat, I only had to spend $30 a month or so on food. His demand for food has sky-rocketed to a full $120 a week. What a dick, ay? I mean, he used to love the cat food. Why would he suddenly go off it? Such a weirdo.

 tl;dr: read it you lazy fuck.